Home sweet home

Today was the big day – checked out of the hotel with my suitcases this morning and drove to the apartment after work. First things first – dinner. The grocery store is only 2 blocks away, so I walked over thinking about what I wanted for dinner. Not rice was the priority. Only, what can you make with a microwave, 2 bowls, and shelves full of food in packages you can’t read? Eggs and edemame seemed safe enough. Throw in some orange juice and a box of what looks like fudgesicles and you’ve got yourself a meal. I even splurged and bought the “soft” toilet paper - still only 1 ply, but at least it’s more pliable than a sheet of cash-register tape (oddly enough, although you buy food here in VERY small portions, the smallest package of toilet paper you can buy is 12 rolls).

Now, I knew that eggs can explode in the microwave. So I very carefully poked a hole in each end, put it in a covered bowl, and monitored the situation very carefully. Lo and behold, although there were some spitting noises, the end result was one hard boiled egg. So I stuck in the next one too, this time forgetting to put the cover back on. The way I figure it, that first egg must have been a calcium-rich mutant, because not 30 seconds later there was a huge “POP” and when I gingerly opened the microwave door, there were strands of semi-done egg goo hanging from EVERYWHERE (mental note – buy kitchen sponge).

Well, I still had the one egg and the edemame, and I was hungry. So, since the egg cobwebs were unlikely to hurt the microwave further if I didn’t clean them up immediately, I sat down in front of “Supercop II” dubbed into Japanese with my meal. Only to find out that my “orange juice” was in fact grapefruit juice. What is it with the Japanese and grapefruit???? And then to notice that the egg had a dark spot in it that tasted like chicken. I really don’t even want to think about that.

Ok, time to unpack and make the bed. The contents of 2 suitcases don’t really fill a small apartment, but at least they make it feel more like home. The bed though ... ok, think about a bed frame with a 6 inch slatted headboard, slats under the mattress, and 6 inch tall legs. Now put a 3 inch thick futon mattress over it and cover that with what we would consider a top sheet. Next comes a down comforter with a fitted sheet over it (rather than totally enclosing the comforter like you’d see in Europe, the Japanese leave a hole in the middle top so you can see the design – it looks rather like your quilt is wearing a hospital bootie). Top the confection off with the pillow made of rocks and you’re good to go.

The shower is even odder. The “bathroom” is actually divided into three little rooms. You step up into the main area first, which contains the washing machine and the vanity. Think of a 5 foot square and divide it in half – this first area is that size and shape. The other half of the square is hidden behind two doors. One door leads to a 3x2 foot room containing a toilet with a water fountain on top of the tank (I have NO idea what that’s for, but I’m not drinking out of it! – there are no extraneous buttons though, for which I am grateful). The second door leads to a 3x3 foot room completely encased in shower paneling. Half of this room is taken up by a very short, very deep tub. The other half has a drain in the floor, a mirror set to reflect your kneecaps, two holders for the shower hose (waist and head high), and a light fixture about 12 inches from the highest shower holder. Apparently the Japanese take a cold shower sitting on a stool (sold separately), and then hop into the steaming tub. I don’t know why the top shower holder is there then – maybe so unsuspecting gaijin can have the hot lightbulb explode over their heads when it gets wet. That way the death will be ruled as a Darwin award candidate rather than genocide. Plenty of hot water and water pressure though, so there are no real complaints.

And the fudgesicle was, in fact, a fudgesicle. Dark chocolate even. :-)